Quotes
"i dont see myself as weird, i just see myself as honest"
"every place you land in life has a reason and a lesson."
"you can only be you. a lot of times it's never enough for people."
"you don't have to justify everything. being pissed off is just absolutely okay."
"i'll tell you something that I am very aware of: my work doesn't relate to the masses. my work is really for the elite. and when I say elite, i mean the mental elite."
"i have so many different personalities in me, and i still feel lonely."
"to me happiness, true happiness is when you can really dance with sad."
"there are two things i won't tolerate in this house. racism, and constipation." - karen, will and grace
"that makes me want to lol...out loud." - monk
"so which one of your fears would you like to work on first?"
glaciers. no, wait. rodeos." - monk
"move over, crazy astronaut lady in diapers." - stephen colbert
"you know, you've never had general tso's chicken until you've had it with methadone." - jon stewart
"if we want to keep up with china, we're going to have to breed like polygomous mormon squirrels." - stephen colbert
"take a picture of the sound, dear." - south park
"yes, i guess that was a little pants crapping."
"february, if you had any balls, you'd be three days longer." - stephen colbert
"if my heart could write songs, they'd sound like these." - j.d., scrubs
"you could be the ugliest sad sack on the planet, but if you're in a band, you're the cat's pajamas." - stephen colbert
"when it comes to mental gymnastics, i'm a 14-year old romanian girl." - stephen colbert
"the truth is contagious, and i haven't washed my hands in days." - stephen colbert
"have you ever heard of the emmancipation proclamation?"
i don't listen to hip-hop." - the colbert report
"when you talk, it's so beautiful. it's like you're puking rainbows."
"fossils are just something the jews buried in 1924." - stephen colbert
"i swallowed 18 condoms full of truth and i'm heading across the border." - stephen colbert
"sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the truth. if so, i'm a freakin' lunatic!" - stephen colbert
"side effects of tonight's show may include euphoria, patriotism, and painful urination." - stephen colbert
"see you tomorrow, trick-or-treaters. hope you like stationary." - stephen colbert
"happy birthday charles darwin...in hell!" - stephen colbert
"gravity is not 9.8m/s2. it's a backpack god puts on our shoudlers filled with his heavy love." - stephen colbert
"after two hours of intense roboting, i was parched." - j.d., scrubs
"i love this moment so much i want to have sex with it." - dr. cox, scrubs
"i don't dislike you. i nothing you." - jordan, scrubs
"don't ever be someone's slogan because you are poetry." - 28 days
(hope) "you know natalie, you're so oral, you'll never get to anal." (natalie) "and youll never get a dick in your dried up cunt, you old maid!" - running with scissors
"were they sent to hell?"
"worse. wisconsin." - dogma
"is it because sometimes the pain inside needs to come to the surface and when you see evidence of the pain inside, you finally know that you're really here? then when you watch the wound heal, it's comforting, isn't it?" - the secretary
"what do you know, faggot? you're about as perceptive as hellen keller." - 28 days
"hemingway had this classic moment in the sun also rises when someone asks mike campbell how he went bankrupt. all he can say is, 'gradually, then suddenly.' that's how depression hits. you wake up one morning afraid you're going to live." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"...occasionally I wished I could walk through a picture window and have the sharp, broken shards slash me to ribbons so I would finally look like I felt." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"i start to get the feeling that something is really wrong. like all the drugs put together...can no longer combat whatever it is that was wrong with me in the first place. i feel like a defective model, like i came off the assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for repairs before the warranty ran out." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"i wonder if any of them can tell from just looking at me that all i am is the sum total of my pain, a raw woundedness so extreme that it might be terminal. it might be terminal velocity, the speed of the sound of a girl falling down to a place from where she can't be retrieved. what if i am stuck down here for good?" - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"that's the thing about depression: a human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. but depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. the fog is like a cage without a key." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"this hatred overtook me, and i couldn't help myself. i wanted so much to forget the past, but it wouldn't go away, it hung around like an open wound that refused to scar over, an open window that no amount of muscle could shut." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"i start to feel like i can't maintain the facade any longer, that i may just start to show through. and i wish i knew what was wrong. maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. i don't know. why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... i don't know the answer, i know only that i can't. i don't want any more vicissitudes, i don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. i just want out. i've had it. i am so tired. i am twenty and i am already exhausted." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"i start to think there really is no cure for depression, that happiness is an ongoing battle, and I wonder if it isn't one i'll have to fight for as long as i live. i wonder if it's worth it." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"in a strange way, i had fallen in love with my depression. dr. sterling was right about that. i loved it because i thought it was all i had. i thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. i thought so little of myself, felt that i had such scant offerings to give to the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"...what i really need, what i'm really looking for, is not something i can articulate. it's nonverbal: i need love. i need the thing that happens when your brain shuts off and your heart turns on. and i know it's around me somewhere, but i just can't feel it." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"that's the one thing i want to make clear about depression: it's got nothing at all to do with life. in the course of life, there is sadness and pain and sorrow, all of which, in their right time and season, are normal—unpleasant, but normal. depression is in an altogether different zone because it involved a complete absence: absence of affect, absence of feeling, absence of response, absence of interest. the pain you feel in the course of a major clinical depression is an attempt on nature's part (nature, after all, abhors a vacuum) to fill up the empty space. but for all intents and purposes, the deeply depressed are just the walking, waking dead." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"i know I can do so much more than this, i know that i could be a life force, could love with a heart full of soul, could feel with the power that flies men to the moon. i know that if i could just get out from under this depression, there is so much i could do besides cry in front of the tv on a saturday night." - elizabeth wurtzel, prozac nation
"i meant," said ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" death thought about it "cats," he said eventually, "cats are nice." - terry prachett
"five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind." - terry prachett
"most gods throw dice, but fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along." - terry prachett
"suicide was against the law. johnny had wondered why. it meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living." - terry prachett
"light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. no matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." - terry prachett
"shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the north pole." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens
"death and famine and war and pollution continued biking towards tadfield. And grievous bodily harm, cruelty to animals, things not working properly even after you've given them a good thumping but secretly no alcohol lager, and really cool people travelled with them." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens
"i don't see why it matters what is written. not when it's about people. it can always be crossed out." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens
"sister mary headed through the night-time hospital with the adversary, destroyer of kings, angel of the bottomless pit, great beast that is called dragon, prince of this world, father of lies, spawn of satan and lord of darkness safely in her arms. she found a bassinet and laid him down in it. he gurgled. she gave him a tickle." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens
"have a nice doomsday." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens
"okay, so hell was down on him. so the world was ending. so the cold war was over and the great war was starting for real. so the odds against him were higher than a vanload of hippies on a blotterful of owsley's old original. there was still a chance." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens
"plutonium may give you grief for thousands of years, but arsenic is forever." - neil gaiman and terry pratchett, good omens